The reality of Heart Disease

I am in San Jose, CA this week for business with my customer.  Last night when I returned after a very long day, on my feet briefing the entire day, I changed to go grab some dinner.  I immediately noticed swelling, or edema, in my legs.  For the uninitiated, edema is fluid retention that pools in your lower extremities and in bad cases in your abdomen.  How do you know you have it?  Well the sock line that a normal person gets is replaced with a muffin top so to speak of fluid.  When you press your finger into the soft area it remains indented and feels like firm sponge cake.  For me that is a in your face reminder that I have end-stage heart disease.  It is a symptom of poor profusion or circulation.  Your kidneys are not fed sufficient blood flow/volume to remove or filter the waste product, electrolytes, salt and fluid from your blood so it backs up.  So, I swallowed my pride and told Heidi and she told me to call the VAD coordinator.  I didn't have any Lasix (Fuorosemide), the water pill, so I had to have a prescription called in.  When I made the call I was afraid I was going to be sent to the hospital.  In talking through the situation with the coordinator I realized that because I was on my feet all day, wearing dress shoes that were tight, in a conference room that was poorly temperature controlled (it was either 76 or 65 all day) that I probably retained some fluid.  That and having eaten out 4 meals in a row probably laden with salt.  Fortunately, the Lasix worked its magic and after peeing 6 times in two hours I was back to chicken legs.  I took another one this morning, worked out for an hour, and ate two banana's to watch my potassium.

The other day I wrote about the bad days make you realize the good days and value them more.  Last night was a BIG wake up call, a reminder that despite the fact that I look very healthy and am otherwise doing all the right things, the reality is that my LVAD is life support, and while waiting for a heart transplant, in its simplest form, I am dieing.  Some may not see it that way, or think that it is morbid.  It is hard to think, hard to talk about, and hard to write it hear because I know that people who love me and care about me will read it.  But, if my pump fails I am in the weeds.

The irony of all of this, lol, is that I am heading to Pleasanton, CA to Thoratec, the manufacturer of my Heartmate 2 LVAD, today for lunch and a tour.  My timing is impeccable:-)